Do you have a special place in your home for your baby/ies? What is it like? Do you have any rituals that you perform in memory of your baby/ies?
Absolutely. We have a little curio cabinet in our dining room that has all of Caden's stuff in it. Photos, his baby book, his coming home outfit, hand and foot molds, candles, stuffed animals, angels, his baptism shell and all kinds of other things. We celebrate his birthday every year with him at his grave. In October we attend the Walk to Remember honoring our boy along with all the other angels. And we participate in the Oct 15 Wave of Light.
If you believe in an afterlife, do you receive signs from your baby/ies? Have you ever felt their presence? Do you find them in nature? Do they visit you in your dreams?
Unfortunately, I have not had any dreams about my little boy. I am one who is definitely searching for answers and seeking signs since he was taken so unexpectedly from us. I like to think that we have witnessed little signs from Caden though.
We took a road trip to get away a few weeks after Caden was born. When we returned, my mom was looking a the pictures we took and noticed there was what looked like a baby's face in one of the family photos of us. It just happened to be the way Jayce's hands formed with Brian's leg. Looks just like a little face!
Shortly after that, the lights in our family room ceiling fan would turn on or off by themselves. They never did that before. They still occasionally do this in our new home to which we transferred the fan to. It creeps Brian out, but I love it when it happens!
I had a tattoo done a couple months after Caden was born. The tattoo had 2 dragonflies in it, representing my living son and my deceased son. I began seeing dragonflies all over the place - I don't know if I just never noticed them before, but I had never really seen them here in Denver. 3 sightings really stand out. 1) After they bury the babies and plant sod, they mark the grave with a little orange flag so the landscape crew is careful. Anyway, we were visiting Caden one day and a beautiful little blue dragonfly landed on his flag. I knew it was him. 2) The 2nd time we were in a motorcycle shop near downtown and a HUMONGOUS brown dragonfly was trapped in the windows of the store. He must have been pretty old. He was trying to get out and was really struggling. I finally got him out the door and he flew up and away. 3) The last dragonfly I saw (last summer) was just hanging out in our garage. Again, he was pretty big. I got a few photos of this guy. Seeing the dragonflies is one thing that does bring a lot of peace to me.
Do you have a special poem, song, prayer or quote in memory of your baby/ies?
1) The song that my blog is named after. Far Away by Nickleback. Something about this song just gets me and have just recently been able to get through it with out crying.
2) The quote on Caden's headstone, "Those we have held in arms for a little while, we hold in our hearts forever."
1 year ago