So Far Away ~ Caden Max: June 2009

Happy 3rd BIRTHDAY my angel!

I imagine you running through the heavenly fields with your angel pals celebrating your day. Do you have cake like we do? All your grandmas and grandpas, friends and family surrounding a grand table decorated just for you. I see your little boy face lit up by the glow of your 3 candles as the choir sings. I know you have everything you want in heaven, but I imagine what you wish for as you blow out your candles. Maybe comfort for mommy, daddy and your brother and sister? Thank you baby - we know you are looking out for us.
We had a little gathering at your grave as I'm sure you're aware. Your brother picked out the monster truck cake for you and left they toys at your grave. I hope you liked it all! I hope you got the balloons we sent you. So many people were thinking of you on your special day baby. You are so loved and never forgotten.

Love, Mom

I can't believe how quickly the last 3 years have gone, yet it seems like an eternity since I held my son in my arms. So much has happened since Caden was born, so much has changed - new job, new home, new baby, new ventures, new ways of thinking. It has been a whirlwind. I guess all that can make the time go rather quickly!
When it comes to Caden though, it is all so far... a little moment (but so significant) in the timeline that is our life. I remember it all so well, but it seems like it was another life, another dimension if that makes any sense. It can probably only make sense to mamas in "the club". I miss my boy terribly - maybe one day these thoughts, feelings and memories can all make sense. I still wonder what he would be like.

A few photos from Caden's birthday party...

Caden's big brother writing him a special note.